Twelve Hours

Waiting sucks.

Yesterday I went to dance class. Took a nap. Went to dinner and had some drinks with a couple of ex-co-workers and then went to bed again.

Today I'm going to work out and clean the apartment like I thought I would do yesterday.

What sucks about email is this stupid delay. I don't have anyway of even knowing if he's gotten read it yet. I expect that he'll either not say anything or I'll get an email back. I know that he called me before about my texts, but I don't expect he'll call to talk about this.

Sigh. I hate waiting. The upside is that my nerves are starting to subside. There's a nice finality to knowing that whatever happens that is it. I can stop obsessing over him, I can stop crying over him. There is just a fair bit of embarrassment that comes with rejection (sad, but I know it's inevitable), but other than that I'm starting to feel a little more calm.

I have kept myself from re-reading what I sent him. I've only double checked that it is in my sent folder and not saved. I also double checked the same with the text message.

Since that is done. I am going to leave it and take my mind off by doing other things. I have audio book that I must finish by the end of tomorrow. I hope I can run and listen to a book at the same time. I've never tried it before.