It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To

I changed my birthday plans.

I had too. I couldn't take going in there and pretending like I was okay. Maybe it is 10 days away. But spend the whole night there with J. I couldn't take the condecending "I'm so flattered" bit.

Of course he'll know why I'm not there. That's fine. But to be uptight, nervous, and possibly upset the whole time is ridiculous.

Of course now I am mad that I said anything before my birthday (I should have listened to Anathema). Although it's hard to say - I can imagine that I might have tried to get with him again, been upset by the rejection, and sending him an email. Then I'd be where I am right now only on my birthday.

There was no good timing on this one. I just wish I had a working crystal ball.

Now. I am really and truely NOT going to commit anymore blog entries to him. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.