DeMotivation

Dysfunction: The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.


1)RB - the theater class guy I had a crush on my freshman year but I was too shy to talk to. At the end of the semester when we were in a group together he looked me in the eye (he had beautiful blue eyes) and said "what was your name again, I don't remember."

2)Funny Funny Co-worker - would routinely flirt with me which at the time I did not know what to do with (I was a very late bloomer) and even asked me to marry him. After he finally did get engaged (to somebody else!) he walked me home from a party and asked me why I had never gone out with him (huh?). Because I thought you were joking the whole time, you were the funny funny co-worker!

3)AP - a revisit of RB only later in my college career. Too shy to talk to him, but that didn't stop a friend of mine from inviting him to a party with the promise that "my American friend really really fancies you." Grrrreat. Too bad I was insanely drunk at the time, and couldn't string to words together to speak to him. He left after a few minutes and I ran the bathroom spewing white wine and bailey's. It was humiliations galore in town after that incident (it was a really small campus). Try going to the pub where everyone is looking at you and telling the friend next to them "Isn't that the girl who likes AP and threw up on him at a party?" It was not on him folks! it was after!!!!!!

4)The XX - probably the only person not privy to the AP gossip. I think he didn't get told until months later when we started going out. Our first three dates consisted of the XX mentioning what a great guy AP was. The XX broke up with 3 times over the course of 2 years. Ostensibly because I was a) too young for him and b) he didn't want to marry me. Enter the XX 5 years later telling me I'm the only he can ever imagine living his life with and thought of bringing a ring for christmas. I got a birthday card from him yesterday. I thought for sure after the major rejection I dealt him at christmas that he'd never want to speak to me again. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice - but no relationsip is better than a bad relationship.

5)The Jackass - It took awhile to get over the XX. Finally my friend introduced me to her coworker. He was super cute and an artist. I thought we were dating. For months we'd go to movies, go out to eat, get coffee, I'd go to his art shows. When I invited him out and he couldn't go because he'd be with his girlfriend. Apparently we weren't dating.

6)The X - inter office dating. The X was always afraid he'd get fired for dating me. It meant we couldn't hold hands on campus or let anyone other than a select few know we were going out. He was obsessed with video games and OMMPRPGs. To the point where I would get yelled at for bringing him food during very important quests and raiding parties. He took the games more seriously than almost anything else. I started taking over his bathroom pretty soon after we slept together and he called me his girlfriend. After a few weeks I stopped asking if I could come over and just showed up everyday after work or school. It was preferable to going home to my mother's house. In the end I'm pretty sure I smothered him and he used his games to get away from me. Sad to say broke up with me, although I was tempted to do it. The kicker is that he did it over the phone. I guess really that's a step up since he asked me out over email. That's what I get for dating a tech-geek.

7)The Man - just some flirtation with a guy that the X works with. He didn't even ask me out via email - he MySpace messaged me. That should have been the first clue, his lack of follow through should have been the second clue. Our one and only date was a total let down. It was a shame because he was pretty hot. Having seen him recently though, he's gotten chubby - not so hot. The fact that he was hung up on a total ho-bag who wouldn't dump her boyfriend but let the Man take her on vacation and buy her expensive things was another total turn off.

8)J - Humiliation: The harder you try the dumber you look. I wish he wasn't so damn hot. Seriiously I think I could get over him if I could stop going to sleep, waking up and at other odd times during the day getting entirely too turned on by thinking about him.

9)CF; Class Friend (technically not a relationship)- As a friend it was nice to talk to him and dance with him at the social parties. But now the boy isn't taking no for an answer. Now he wants to take me out on Friday. I'd tell him that I'm already doing something for my birthday but then I'd have to invite him, because I'm just way too nice. He called me at 10:30pm on Monday to "chat" even after I had already told him that I was going to bed earlier which is why I wasn't going to go to a dance with him in a town that is an hour from where I live. Yes, I work. Yes, I work early in the morning. Making a quip about "lucky you, you have a job" as if it's not a reason to stay in on a Monday night does not indear me to you. Maybe I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. But what's the point of dating if it's the result of me lowering my standards?

The XX, the X, and J all showed up with in my life a few months after being rejected, humiliated, or dumped. So maybe the rebound is right around the corner.

Then again

Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.