Digging myself deeper

Went out with the X yesterday.

We went shopping, to dinner, and bowling. It seemed fine and friendly until the bowling when he wanted a kiss for every strike or spare.

It was easier to give him a few pecks than explain that I was uncomfortable with it. He seems to think that we can act like we're together without being together.

My problem is that I hate confrontation. I don't want to hurt his feelings either. But now he wants to go camping over a weekend. He asked if I wanted to share his sleeping bag and seemed offended when I said no. I need to call him and tell him that we can't do this. If I were in a tent with him he'd so try to get it on with me. And then we'd be all akward when I wouldn't do it.

I also feel really bad because I'm not attracted to him anymore. I mean, when I've got J who turns me on just being near me, I find it hard to look at anyone else and say "yeah, they're attractive" because I don't feel that way.

I know that I should not be afraid of putting my foot down and saying that the X and I can be friends only. He broke up with me 7ish months ago, why should I feel bad? But the thought that he would not want to even be my friend once the hope of being me his girlfriend is gone is what stops me from doing it. I know it shouldn't. I got along with no contact for 5 months before he came crawling back. I could do it again.