Me: Well, what do you want to do for the next 1/2 hour?
L: I'd like you to pick something.
Me: But I don't know what can be done in your town for half an hour that's worth doing.
L: Oh, that makes me feel real good about myself.
Looking back on it now, maybe he thought I was being flirtatious with that comment, but I was being literal. Which I tried to point out by saying that I was unfamiliar with his part of town and if he knows it well then he should decide. I was not trying to make innuendos.
We ended up back at his place playing ping-pong. And it gets weirder. First off I was wearing a skirt that hits my knees and a t-shirt that covers me to my collar bone. Sure, I had to bend over to pick up the ball, but I wasn't bending my ass in his direction and there is no way without Superman's x-ray vision that he could have been looking down my shirt. So why then did he have to take a break from ping-pong and lean over as if to catch his breath? Yeah, I recognize that move, it's the please-don't-let-her-see-the-pop-tent move.
J pulled that move too before our first ever make out session. L didn't try anything though. He killed me pretty quickly in ping-pong and practically threw me out of his house. But not before asking me to dinner before a dance on Sunday since we were both going we could go together. Because of my no waiting resolution, even though I was hoping to get J to go dancing with me, I said yes. Turns out, the World Cup final rained on our dinner plans...which was good actually. L's declaration of not dating made me feel comfortable with him because we were in the safe "Friend Zone." His flirting though, totally throwing me for a loop.
Since I had missed meeting up with J on Thursday to have dinner with L, I called him that night. I felt better getting his voicemail. I actually asked if he would want to get together for dancing over the weekend. I didn't hear from him all of Friday and took it as the blow off sign because I had asked for more than just a hook-up. But I got a message on Saturday morning saying he was unavailable this weekend, but that we could get together during the week if my work schedule allowed. This I knew was the answer "No, I don't want to dance. Let's just fuck."
So since he took a day to call me I decided to do the same. I figured on Sunday I'd call him and let him know what I was up to for the week, and it wouldn't matter since he was "unavailable" for the weekend. Color me suprised then when Saturday night I get a phone call from J asking me what I'm doing on Sunday.
I told him the truth, erands and then I'm going dancing. I figured he'd say he had to work, and I knew L would be at the dance, so I wasn't bothered.
So, I got another suprise when he tells me that he thinks he can go too and he'll call me on Sunday to let me know.
huh? what happened to not being available? (I guess plans can change...look at dinner plans vs. World Cup) and just when I was about to write him off as only wanting to ever have sex.
So J decided to meet me at the dance early, and I told L that I would see him there. I was expecting akwardness, major akwardness. Turns out the only akwardness was what I felt not knowing how much time to spend around J...were we there "together?" or what?
I get there and J was in the lesson so I joined in with someone else. When the dance started we danced one and then sat down, which is when L and a friend of his came over the boys introduced themselves, I didn't say anything and L asked me to dance. So I did. Yet another flirty conversation ensued:
Me: I'm afraid I'm not going to remember anything it's been so long since I danced.
L: What you don't go 3 times a week like me? (he was teasing not chiding)
Me: No, not since I had my lessons.
L: Well how about I give you a lesson and you cook dinner for me?
Me: Sure, 'cuz that's a fair trade.
Flirty conversation #2 during a different dance after he spun me quite a bit:
L: What are you thinking?
Me: That after this I'm going put shorts on under my skirt, I think it's coming up to high on the turns. (I was wearing boy short underwear, but still felt uncomfortable)
L: And I'm just finding this out. You probably wouldn't want me to do this (drops down and pushes my legs to get me to spin very fast)
Me: Yeah, I'm sure all the by-standers loved it.
I went and put shorts on right after that. It didn't stop him from pulling that move again later.
I had a great time, danced until my feet hurt and left early with J for some other dancing. We went out seperate doors because I had left some stuff, but I know that L's friend didn't dance the whole night, and I wonder if he noticed how much time I spent with J. I speculate on this matter because after the flirty flirty I've heard nothing from L. I thought that he'd maybe email me or something. Either that or maybe he noticed that I was uncomfortable with his behavior.
It isn't that I don't like L. I like him very much, but I'm not ready to try anything romantic right now and I'm not ready to give up J by any means. If I get involved in a relationship I'd have to. Ideally I'd like this thing with to go until it fizzles on it's own. I don't want to have to start either, being unavailable until he stops trying, or actually say "hey I've met somebody else we can't do this anymore." I'm really bad at the latter. I was able to tell the X I didn't want to have sex, but I've not mentioned the fact that I'm "dating" anyone else. The X even said that he didn't want to stop me from dating other guys, but I'm fairly sure he doesn't want to hear about it. I'm going to take a wild guess and say no man does.
Next week the X is going to take me computer shopping. I'm dreading the inevitable...he always tries to kiss me when we go out. Well, it's been awhile since we have, but he always did. And frankly, I am just done kissing him.
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