And the non-intellectual, soul searching post of today

L called me last week wanting to "date" me. He thought that because of my social shyness that I would also be really shy in bed. The fact that I was willing to fool around with him a couple of weeks ago made him want to date me. Hmmm....why do I get the feeling that when he says "date" he really just means "fuck" with some extra hanging out so it seems less dirty?

I also went on a first date with a new guy (G) a week ago. My girl friend set me up with him kind of. I was hanging out with her one night and she told me that she told a co-worker to come by if he had time. That way we could meet and it wouldn't have the super akwardness of a blind date. He's younger, just out of college, but really smart and a great coversationalist. Unlike L, I actually get to talk sometimes too. Our first date consisted of chineese dinner, coffee (hot chocolate for me..it was a weeknight) and bowling. We didn't have the easy comradery that I had with the X, or with other friends of mine. Our bowling trips were always complete with lots of cheering, a little booty shaking when we did well, hugs, and high-fives. Of course I can't expect much with it being a first date and only the second time we'd seen each other ever. With the X we'd worked together a little before he asked me out. And he called me a few days later, we're going to go out again, on the weeked this time.

I have been missing the X lately. It seems that ever since I blew off his hiking trip a month
ago he doesn't really want to talk to me much. I could understand it when he was first mad at me, but it has been long enough. I had a friend once who organized a roadtrip with 2 other people to go see my favorite band, a band that I introduced her to. She didn't even invite me. I found out about it after the fact (deja vu...I think I've blogged this story before). I am still friends with her. I stood up at her wedding and went to her baby shower. If I can do that he should get over a hiking trip. I just miss being able to talk about the quirky things that he and I have in common. I miss that comfortable-ness that we had between us, even when I was afraid that I was leading him on. I wish there was a way for us to be real friends.

And on a side note: Why are complete strangers driven to make fun you because of stupid shit, like the way you talk? I mean what makes them think that they are so superior that they have right to cut down someone they don't even know? I realize that based solely on appearences, with my glasses on, and a coat covering my clothes I might at first glance look like an 18 year old college student, but even so, what is so funny about the word "vibe" that someone cuts into my conversation with a friend to mock my use of the word?

Sometimes I really hate people.