Un-Happy Cinco de Mayo

What a crappy ass day. Seriously. I went from all the good things I like about me to the suckiest day off ever.

I was supposed to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a girlfriend this afternoon at a restaurant/bar that was having dancing and then a contest (which I was planning on just watching). But she IMs me and says she can't go she's been invited to Las Vegas. Yeah, how do you compare bar watching your friend dance to getting it on with a sugar daddy in Las Vegas. Because, trust me, that's what's happening.

I had mentioned that I was doing this to the X and said he could come along too. He'd never been there, but it's a sports bar so he was game. Until yesterday when he says he's staying home to watch sports.

So I'm left with no dancing. I considered going alone and if I hadn't over slept I would have at least gone for the dancing, but by the time I looked up from my comfy spot on the couch it was too late, the contest had begun and I wasn't going to go alone just to watch. That's just sad.

So I work out instead and I'm feeling pretty good about myself, post a blog and the X calls. The games gonna be over in a couple hours if I want to get together. Sure I say, I'll head out to his neck of the woods to do some errands when the game is over call me and we'll go drink Margaritas.

I get a call while I'm shopping and it's not to tell me that the game is over, it's to say that his Mom called and she and his sister on their way to meet him for dinner. Nice suprise for him, not so much for me becuase he says they're making a stop at an outlet store then they are coming over and when he's done he'll call me. Which while that did happen, it happened four and a half hours later. I was already at home. I wasn't about to head back out to where I had already been so I could drink margaritas and he could have a booty call.

I get it. Really I do. We only had tentative plans all day and it is is his family. If we were going out, yeah I'd be invited, but how do you explain bringing your ex-girlfriend out with your mom and sister?

I am just so sick of counting on people only to be utterly disapointed by them. I don't understand how I can just not matter to people. Am I that insignificant? Am I that unworthy of a little consideration? What is it about me that screams to people "over-look this girl; take her for granted; walk all over her"? What have I done to deserve this loneliness and so much fucking unhappiness?