I'll be just find pretending I'm not

It has been well over 80 almost every day this week and I've come down with a cold. What's up with that?

I screwed up at work and forgot a deadline meaning on wednesday some of our customers were a little bit peeved.

Despite being sick I had to come in for another pointless staff meeting and work a split shift because of it - despite the fact that nobody showed up at 7 for my program. It was a waste of 12 hours.

I went dancing again. I had actually tried to figure out a senario in which I could be nice to her. I mean this hating her thing is getting really ridiculous. Actually it's the being obsessed that is ridiculous. Unfortunately I never got the chance. I think she must have some kind of clue that I have no interest in being nice to her. I joined the beginner class as a leader. I had spoken to him the week before and I had been a leader in his beginning class on sunday. He uses me to demonstrate the ladies part when he's teaching the guys. So me and two other girls were filling in because as always with this stuff there were way more ladies then men. When BMG comes in with someone who could have been her mom. She changed her shoes and the next thing I know she's standing next to me in the leaders line. Fine. But then the teacher decides that everyone should have a go at leading and since he'd been demonstrating with me he has all the leaders take a turn at leading me. Including BMG. Yeah. That was fun. Not really. She wasn't good.

I really, really tried to ignore her for the rest of the night. Not, ignore, just try to not be aware. The worste part was when I was dancing with a guy had never danced with before and he chose a spot on the dance floor right in front of BMG & Posse's table. It made me so neverous. And then it happened again when I was dancing with someone else and there was only one other couple on the floor. I don't know why I have this feeling that she's judging me. I mean if I obviously remember her from two months ago with J, how can she not remember me talking to him too? But maybe I'm just paranoid.

Being sick my balance was all off, so that was annoying. And when I was dancing with the teacher later in the night I managed to smack him in the nose. Talk about embarassing. It didn't stop me from dancing until the very end. I'm at work now with 4 hours of sleep and a red, stuffy nose.

I had planned out a long post about how I was finally okay. I was over at the X's on Monday (Heroes Season Finale). I got there early so we ate and then he wanted to walk next door to the grocery store. I thought he wanted to get stuff for later that night. No. He was doing his grocery shopping for the week.

I knew the inevitable end to the night and realized that I wasn't really that into it. I had had such a great Sunday night dancing and I know the X is really not into that. I just realized that I don't really need him anymore. I feel really bad about it. I knew the whole time that I was using him to make me feel better, but I didn't expect to get to this point before he left.