You make me completely miserable

Why do I want somebody who makes me feel so crappy?

I flipped a coin. It was tails - don't go.

I hate the idea of not doing something I want to do in order to avoid him. But on the other hand am I going to get the most out of it if I'm preoccupied the whole time?

The only problem is a part of me is nagging me to go. Go - it says. You know you want to go. Part of me just wants to get it over with. Like a band-aid. I just wish there was a way of making myself look extra attractive after a work out.

I hate that the very idea of seeing him for a minute sends me into this tailspin of nerves and depression. It's all I can do to not cry at my desk right now. Which probably just proves I couldn't handle seeing him in person.