All I ever wanted

Vacation! Have to get away.


Right now I'm working on zero hours of sleep. I got home from the club at 2am had a good cry - finished watching a movie I'd started while working on my cute denim clam diggers, started blogging and then cleaning in prepation for -

a whole week out of here - no phone, no computer, no work. Just sunshine, mountains, water, hiking, horses, more sunshine and hanging out with family.

I have decided against sending J that text message. I'm glad I saved the draft and didn't have a "just go for it" moment. He had multiple occasions to engage me in conversation last night. He chose not to. If I had been so worried about what he thought of me ignoring him I would have gone up to him. But I didn't. As hard as it is to think that J doesn't want anything to do with me really, for what ever reason, then I've just got to live with it. Maybe over the next few months of running into each other occasionally hi how are you will turn into some better conversation, and maybe eventually I'll have the guts to dance with him again. Hopefully when that happens it's because I'm finally over him and dancing with him won't mean what it means now.