Ground me I'm having an Off Night

I had a good day at work. Something went right for a change and the teens I work with really seemed to enjoy the program I put together. I actually had more than 2/3 show up!

A night of dancing, however, didn't go as smoothly. For one J wasn't there this time. Again, my instincts had told me that already. That didn't stop me from looking though. I think that initially through me off. Then I slipped when I was being dipped by this one guy - I don't like dancing with him anyway, but I don't need him thinking I don't know what I'm doing - and he nearly dropped me. We stopped dancing after that. I was pretty much in a funk for most of the rest of the evening.

J may not have showed up, but one of the Inner Cirlce (as I like to call it) came in. It's the older guy, not the one who invited me to the BBQ. I didn't think he came to this place, but there was and he asked me to dance. I was really nervous because last thursday I thought I was horrid when I danced with him. To the point where I swear BMG who was sitting next to the dance floor laughed at me (even after I found her goddam earring for her). Add to that the fact that I was having an off night already, I thought for sure I would end up on my ass.

But it went all right for the most part. I guess I figured I couldn't get any worse. I fumbled a little bit, and he gave me a tip. Just to put a little more resistance in my arms. I guess I've gotten so used to dancing with the same guys all the time, I know their moves and can be a little more lax. It's the resistance in your arms and having a good frame that helps the leader get the message across. So I just firmed up a little bit and suddenly the dance was so much better. At least I felt it was. I stopped counting my steps for one, because I just kept thinking - firm, but not inflexible. I asked him afterward if that was better. He said it was and that I just needed some polishing.

It's similar to what my instructor told me earlier this week. I approached him about private lessons. Because if I get over the fear of doing what is expected of me and what a "safe" career choice is, and what my family will think, then I am going to pursue a spot at the Ballroom Dance Teachers College in January. Unless I can find a place that has openings after August (when I'm quitting my job) that will train me. I'd just like to have some more experience and a better foundation before then. This instructor is amazing, he has been dancing since he was young and teaching for more than 20 and think closer to 30 years. He is going to take me on - it's expensive, but I was going to take a grad class that would help me in my current job. But I hate my current job. I don't want to be at it anymore. So why spend the money on that?

He said that I have good movement and rhythm that I just need learn "grounding" once I get that I'll be "a good little dancer." I'm not sure what that last part is supposed to mean. Granted I'm short and petite, and he is quite a bit older than him. He probably thinks I'm 18. Still, it was a compliment. I know that much. Somehow things like that mean so much more coming from someone you admire.

I feel like a rough jewel all of a sudden - grounding and polishing - and I'll shine. (Ewww...that' was so kitch, pretend I didn't write it.)