Way down deep, I'm not this Shallow

I was out dancing with my friend - the one who invited me out to BBQ on 4th of July (can't remember the initials I gave him anymore) and he asked me about CF, if I had "figured him out yet."

I'm thinking - what is there to figure? When he says, "Because we've figured you out."

Okay, now I'm intrigued. I've been figured out. Really? So then I ask, what he's figured out exactly. I don't think he wanted to tell me, he asked if I really wanted to know.

He started out by telling me that when I first came on the "scene" that he didn't pay much attention to me. "Why do you think that was?" he asked me. I said because I'm shy, unassuming, and I don't draw attention to myself. He said, no. Huh? or at least that's not all of it.

Apparently he thought I was about 19. It didn't help that one of the first times I ever hung out with him was at J's club and I got hugely drunk in an attempt to drown the realization that J didn't give a rat's ass about me. Also, CF at that point was interested in me, and CF usually likes younger girls. So the other guy naturally assumed that I was pretty young.

Then, he says that I don't share stuff about myself and that makes me come off as superficial.

Superficial - because I'm not telling people I dance with my deep seated dreams, fears, desires etc? That's just plain silly. I tell people where I'm from, what I do for a living, how my week was when they ask. There is only so much that people really need to know. Am I supposed to spend the time between dances talking about my stances on politics, religion, reproductive rights, animal rights, civil rights, the environment, literature, education, health care, the economy, outsourcing and anything else that is deep and weighty? Because I am a smart girl, I am a highly (perhaps too much so) educated person, I have opinions on all of those things, most of which are backed up by research and reading that I've done. I'm a published author and poet for crap's sake.

But when someone asks you as they lead you onto the dance floor or while you're getting water, "what's new?" All they are looking to hear is "oh my boss gave me a new project to work on" or "my kid got an A in math, I'm so proud" shit like that. They don't want me to pontificate on the world's world's issues.

I'm private. My life is my life, and people I see only rarely, they don't get the deeper stuff. It's not their right or privlage to know what makes me tick or to have me "figured out." If anything, this guy should be glad that I'm comfortable enough with him to be superficial. I don't generally care to let people know that I can be as petty as the next small or narrow minded person.

I'm a little pissed off with him.