January 23, 3006

Hissing, spitting mad:

How could I have possibly have been dissed by the biggest man-whore I know? Seriously.As if I wasn't bad off already, dieting in the extreme, exercizing every day, sometimes two or three times a day. As if I didn't already feel huge and fat and ugly.

A little background for you:
On Friday I went out with a co-worker to see a third collegue's new music group play. The last band to play sucked so my friend and I went to the back of the bar to play pool...as far from the speakers as possible. When the guy I was there to see came by to mingle and we flirted a bit. Nothing major I sat on his lap while my friend played pool with someone else and we just chatted. It was just kind of nice seeing as I've been without male attention for 6 weeks.

Today he comes up to me and apologizes for being "innapropriate." Inappropriate!! And he said sorry. That pisses me off. Sorry means, "I wish I hadn'd done it." I didn't think he was a jerk for flirting with me. It's not like he has a girlfriend (yeah, he's got a girl he bones sometimes, but everyone knows she's a whore and doesn't constitute a real relationship). And it isn't as if I was expecting a date, or sex, or a marriage proposal. It was nice friendly flirting and I knew I was having a good time because the whole time we were chatting I didn't obsess about whether I was crushing his legs with my weight.

So now he says sorry...and I'm thinking...oh my god I really am horrible and disgusting and he must be appalled with himself.

Great...I've gone from angry to depressed in the time it took me to write this.