It's Raining Men

But I'm not so Hallelujah about it.

I've been out with my X a few times since I put my foot down about not sleeping with him. He has said in no uncertain terms that he wants to be back with me. He also claimed to understand my trepidation in doing that especially since I have no full time job and am looking for work anywhere I can get it, even out of the state. However, this hasn't stopped him from pressuring me to be exclusive and start sleeping with him again. It's getting kind of old. I feel really guilty for even going out with him since I have no intentions of ever sleeping with him again, nor getting back together. He wants to meet up and talk about some things with me in person this week. Tomorrow. I am really nervous. I think he's going to make me decide and I don't think he'll like what my decision is.

I started dance classes at my gym about a month ago. I plucked up my courage and just started going by myself with out a partner because I really wanted to learn, it's a great work out, and I met the instructor (J) the week earlier. HOT. That's all I can say about him. He is seriously hot and he makes me so hot when I'm dancing with him (the upside to attending without a partner is that I get to dance with the instructor more). I am dying for him to ask me out. This isn't a studio atmosphere so I don't think that there is a problem with the whole instructor/student dynamic, but I am getting worried that I'm down to the last 2 classes for the summer (none in July or August) and all he's done is some mild flirting. I don't even know how seriously I can take that either. He's Latino and he dances...flirting might just be second nature. But on the other hand there have been other little clues that lead me to believe he might at least ask me for my number. Regardless, I want him bad and I've come to the decision that if necessary I will be bold and offer him my number at the end of the last class. If he doesn't want it or doesn't use it then I've really lost nothing. I rarely see him outside of class so I won't have to live with too much embarrassment.

Since I'd been taking these lessons I went to a social dance (not a club, I don't want to go there by myself) and met this guy, L. It was freaky-creepy how much stuff we had in common, right down to where we lived, and had never met before. He gave me his number and we've talked. He's taking me out dancing to a club this week between my lessons. He's cute enough and very nice. We have been able to talk about alot since we have so much in common. The thing is that when we met and he asked if we could "hang out" sometime he said that he isn't "really dating right now." Huh? WTF does that mean?

I'm in a pickle about these two. I am insanely attracted to J, but he hasn't made much of a move. L has actually asked me out, but "isn't dating" and while he's cute, I didn't feel the spark of hotness that I get from J.

Other people date more than one person at a time. It happened to me once with a guy I was dating so it must happen. I've just never done it before and I'm not sure how to handle it. Obviously I don't want to blow it with either of them by mentioning the other guy, but I'm half afraid that I'll be out with one dancing and the other will show up to the place.

I suppose it's too soon to get really worked up about it. Nothing may happen with J in which case I'm free to have as much fun as I want with L. Or maybe L will want to be "just friends" and I can pursue J romantically (physically) to my heart's content. Only time will tell I guess.