It's firday night and I ain't got nobody

It's Friday night. Nearly 11 and I'm boringly sitting alone in my apartment. it's been eerily quiet. I forgot my iPod at work, and while I know I could play music directly from my computer, there is something about it being so silent in here right now.

The XX emailed me again. He's leaving tomorrow and wants to call me before then. He said he might tonight. It depends I suppose on what every fun thing he's got planned. Frankly, i think despite feeling sorry for himself, he did more being elsewhere than with me. I've had to work every day after new years. But maybe i'm just trying to ease my own guilt. I'm wondering what our conversation is going to be like. Will we forgive each other and be friend again? Or will this be it and we'll forever be scarred and angry?

I rented some movies today. I just finished watching Kingdon of Heaven. I was pleasantly suprised. It wasn't as exciting as the box makes it sound, but then I'm not really in the mood. But I thought it was pretty cool none-the-less. I liked the message about putting people's lives over symbols and icons.

I've also got: Ghost in the Shell, Cowboy Bebop, Road to Perdition, Munich, and Tristan + Isolde. I don't feel like watching any of them. I wanted to see Step Up because it's a dancing movie. I already rented Take the Lead with Antonio Banderas, and there wasn't enough dancing in it for me. I've also seen Mad Hot Ballroom, which is utterly adorable. It is fantastic to see these inner city kids gain some self confidence and respect through something that isn't self destructive.

I'm tempted to just go to bed.

I think I have bronchitis or pneumonia. I've had this sore throat/cough /cold type thing for a month now and in the last week it has gotten much worse. A week ago I started hacking up really gross phlem, that's subsided, but my throat still hurts, I'm still coughing and sometimes when I breathe out it feels like someone is pressing down on my chest and my heart beat speeds up. When that happens if feels almost like a panic attack. I should probablly get to a doctor. But I'm such a procrastinator that I never turned in my paperwork to Human Resources to get my health coverage started. Stupid me. I'm just hoping that it's something simple that will go away on it's own. I haven't gone dancing or exercised in so long. I really want to, but I'm afraid that I'll end up making myself worse if I don't rest.