Put my foot down

So...I went out to lunch with the X. My plan was to have a discussion over food and give him my explanation of why I can't sleep with him anymore. It's not that I don't care about him...I just want us to be friends.

Yeah, that didn't work so well. The lunch place was so crowded there was no way I could talk to him about personal stuff. So I waited until we were back at his place. I had let my nerves get the best of me and I was beginning to think that I wouldn't be able to mention it. Until he gave me "the look." The "what-can- we-do-for-half-an- hour-before-you-go-back-to-work" look. This time I wasn't giving in. I kind of just blurted out that though I'd been having fun with him sleeping with him is making me feel bad about myself. I wish I could have explained more, but as I say...nerves. I assured him that it was "me not you" and left it there.

He seemed to take it okay and asked if we could still hang out as friends once in awhile. I imagine this means that he's okay with my decision, but I am also guessing that this "fuck buddy" arrangement was never going to turn into him asking for me back. Which, just to clarify, I never would have done, but would have made me feel better about the situation. In the "at least he didn't want me just for sex" way. Alas...he did just want me for my body.

I feel a lot better now....my New Years Resolution 5 months ago was to take better care of myself. I have now come to conclude that this includes emotional well being as well as physical.