Long Time

I realized that it has been a really long time since I've posted anything. I have a back log of drafts that I started and didn't get to finish before posting. I will try to fill those in sometime soon.

The biggest change is that I'm working again. I had about an 8 month vacation, but I also got to the point where my credit card balance was larger than my bank account. Besides the dance instruction job that I took over from J which is only two hours a week, I took the first job I was offered. An adjunct instructor position at my local community college. I have two master degrees and one is good enough to teach at a community college. I had put my resume in with a different department, but when they became desperate for English instructors my info was forwarded and I got an email.

I started on September 3 teaching two different composition courses. With in a couple of weeks I was also offered a position in my preferred profession, the one I left and was wondering if I'd go back to. I am glad that I took the position. I am glad to be back. I realized it was a mistake to go into the public realm and since returning to academics I'm much happier. It is at a different school than the one I'm currently teaching at. But in someways it's very similar. Instead of a community college it is called a "right to try" college. So they'll take anyone with a high school diploma or the equivalent.

It turns out that the English teaching was a huge mistake also. I don't think that I have gotten a full night's sleep since I started. First it's two different classes so that is twice the preparation time. And since I've never taught these before it takes a long time to prepare. It's Composition I and II. So I have to cover some pretty basic things, grammar, writing well, thesis, intro, conclusion etc. And my Comp I is mostly freshmen. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to comma patients. Honestly, they say they get it, but really they're not listening, not paying attention, not caring and their performance shows it. I've gotten to the point where I'm starting to not care also. Maybe 1/4 of my students are actually trying. They are the same kids that sit up front and try to answer every question. The funny thing is that I don't dislike them as people, just as students.

I've come to realize that I take my intelligence for granted. I don't need to be told three times that a paper needs to be double spaced and still hand it in single spaced. Or take a homework assignment and attempt to do it with out reading the directions. Or just not do an assignment because I don't understand it because I haven't read the directions, or I didn't listen to the instructor explain the directions.

I have a huge stack papers that need to be graded and I just can't make myself get to it. They were turned in last week Wednesday, but I was busy getting ready for a weekend dance trip (3 days and nights of dancing and workshops!) and trying to clean my house for my mother's return home.

I've begun grinding my teeth at night and dreaming about problem students. I am more stressed than I can ever remember being. I was supposed to choose my winter semester classes by today and I just couldn't to it.

My schedule right now is: Mon/Wed 9am to 9:30pm, Tues/Thurs 8:30am to 7:30pm, and Friday 8:30a - 3pm. That doesn't include commuting there and back 1/2 an hour to an hour each way. On top of that I still have dance team practice on thursdays and sundays, my private lessons I do after work on Fridays, group classes on Saturday. I'm drowning in work and my personal goals are suffering.

I was supposed to decide by today what classes I wanted to teach for next semester. I told the chair of my department that none fit my schedule. I just can't take this again in the winter. Instead I'm refocusing on my dancing and I'm going to take two classes instead. It's time to get selfish again for 2009.