Red Flag

I continue to be confused by K.

He stopped by my work yesterday. I thought he might since he's been saying he was going to stop in and say hi for as long as I've known him, but never has. I mentioned on Saturday when we were "hanging out" that I had to work. So lo, and behold, half an hour before we close he bumps into me (literally) and we chat. He wants my email address. About 15 minutes later he goes to say bye and I realize, since I'm closing up soon, maybe we can hang out afterwards.

I tell him that we close in 15 and does he want to get something to eat afterward. He says he'll wait for me outside. When I go out to see him, he says he can't eat with me he's got to go cook with family, but we can go somewhere for me. Hmmm...why'd he stick around then. We just walked for a bit and talked. He walked me back to my car and then we proceded to make out for awhile.

He told me a totally disturbing story about him confronting a bully about 10 years after the guy harrassed him. It stemmed from me talking about why I still see myself as a shy person. I never got to finish my thoughts, but he told me about threatening this guy in college to the point where the guy was seriously scared for his saftey.

Not a great story. Sure I was bullied in middle school and I can recall one girl's name, but I don't honestly think I'd recogonize them again if I met them. It's been 15 years after all. And if I did, what am I going to do? Tell them what they already know? That they were sad and pathetic for picking on someone weaker than themselves just to make them feel better about their own sorry lives? Who cares? We were kids. Yes it would be better if they hadn't done it, but what is threatening someone years later going to accomplish. Especially when they know what they did was wrong? Let their own conscience yell at them, let Karma, or God or whatever deal with them, I've got better things to do.

That was red flag number one.

Red flag number two. K continues to be enthusiastic about how much he likes me, to the point where he says he's embarrassed. It was cute the first time. Now, I feel like it's over the top. I get it, you like me. Have I told you to fuck off yet? No. So stop being so damn insecure.

Red flag number 3. Making out. He keeps saying that he's an affectionate guy that he says how he feels (oh really, that's why it took a year for you to ask for my number?) So he tells me how nice it is too hold me, how sexy I am etc. And while we're kissing, hever once tried to hide the fact that he was very turned on. And it seemed like he wanted to do more than kissing - it was practically foreplay. He gave me a little massage and I pretty much had to keep him from going any farther than just making out - as in deflecting hands from new place. I was having major flashbacks to J and I. Our first make-out session went very far and two days later we were in the back seat of his car. Look where that led me.

Red Flag number 4. Before the making out K said he didn't know where to go from here, or what to do next. I told him, well, you should call me, and we should go out sometime. He seemed to concure. But after the making out when he was leaving he says to call him. Call him any time. Huh?

I know it's stupid and very "rules" like, but I'm done with calling guys and asking them out. Done. All it did with J was give me a false sense that things were going the way I wanted. The same with the Jackass before him.

Call me crazy, or old fashioned but from now on I want a date, or three, before I start getting physical with someone. I'm not doing any more of this tripping over a guy and straight into bed with him.