Getting what you want isn't always what you want.

Ever since November of '06 when J got his gig performing and teaching I wanted to perform there. Well a year and a half later I got what I wanted.

Yesterday J was calling me alot too. First he left a message and then he just kept calling. Finally I listened to the message - I took his number out of my phone a few months ago - so I didn't know it was him. He was offering me a chance to perform at his club, because he was going out of town and asked my friend B to fill in and she suggested dancing with me.

We did do it. And we rocked. I did a great lesson even if I do say so myself.

After that we went to a party. I was up in the air about going, it was being held by a really good friend of NG. I was 90% sure that NG would be there. But since he hadn't been at the thursday club in a few weeks and it's the night before easter I thought there was also a chance he wouldn't show up. But he was there. His car was the first in the drive way and I could see him through the window before we even went in.

I had wanted to see him, but as soon as I got in there I couldn't look up at him - I froze. Eventually I was able to say hi, and give him a hug. He also said good-bye, but it was about 10 minutes later. I had all these ideas and fantasies about what would happen if he were there, but it was totally anti-climactic.