This never happened to me before

So I had a date with the X to watch Hereos because it is a feakin' awesome show and I get horrible reception. I figured it would be like last time where we watch some tv, do it on his couch, I doze off for a bit and then go home.

Well, his roommate was home so that meant we had to go to his room. Not a good thing becuase I just kept having flash backs of J. Like when he pulled my shirt away from my neck to kiss me there. J used to do the exact same thing. I remember the way he did that he last time we were together at my place. It was all down hill from there. I actually ended up crying--crying--in the middle. Not super sobbing or anything but tears started rolling down my face. I tried to hide it by putting my face to his chest. I think X took it as something good, that he was doing something right. Not that he wasn't, not really. It was just struck me that I was not where I wanted to be just then. And then afterward later it happened again. I was lying there and the next thing I know these tears just start rolling out my eyes. The X didn't mention it. I'm sure he thinks it has more to do with the fact that he's moving in 2 months, but I haven't talked to him about it.

Clearly this using one guy to get over another is not working.

I am going to have to talk to the X soon. We got to figure out what the hell we are doing here. I don't want to have talks about following him because he thinks we are back together.

Damn, have I stepped in it this time.