Suspisious minds

J didn't have class tonight.

hmmm....the only other time I've known him to cancel class was when he was student teaching and had to be there for parent teacher conferences. He's not doing that now.
There were no signs announcing an unplanned cancelation either. Which they normally do. He even made it to class last night even though the weather was blizzard-like. (It was a big class too, lots of people figuring they'd wait to go home I think.)

God, even if I do admit my feelings to him at some point. What hope is there? I am afraid to trust him becuase of shit like this.

I don't know if I would really think much of it normally, but it's Valentine's Day. I remember 2 V-Days ago, when the X took off half a day off of work so we would have more time together. So it isn't a stretch of my imagination to think that maybe he'd cancel his class for somebody really special.

Somebody, not me. I don't get called, or texted unless he wants sex.

I know I've got to say something even if he shoots me down, or confirms for me that I'm nothing to him but a piece of ass, at least then I can hate him.