Working 9 to 5

A list of things I would like to tell my co-workers today:

1. shut the fuck up
2. it's a complicated piece of machinery you idiot
3. I'd like to see even one of you morons fix it
4. so maybe you should give the repair guy a fucking break instead of calling him tweedle-dum behind his back
5. maybe if you stopped jabbering at him about customer service it would be fixed by now
   
6. shut the fuck up
7. I don't give a shit what you are considering having for lunch
8. why are you looking at me like I'm supposed to know how much juice costs?
9. I'm not a god-damn vending machine
10. one week! you expect me to get this done in a week!
11. I'm not a god-damn miracle worker
12. shut the fuck up you fucking mouth breather
13. wipe the drool off your face, then speak
14. it's called chapstick. Use it.
15. yes, I did know that, because I'm not stupid like you
16. just because it doesn't work for you, doesn't mean someone else is wrong
17. technology is not a fad, learn to use it yourself already
18. stay out of my conversation unless I invite you in
19. is your master degree in idioticy or moronity?